Going away from home 5 years ago and now..

[Note: Hey guys. This is my first ever post. So please bear with me for incoherence or lack of fineness. plz do comment ur views and suggestions. Thanks]

The time is approaching fast. The time to leave my home, my country. Only God knows how long I will be away from all this, my parents, my friends, my hometown. To be honest I have mixed feelings about that. On one hand I am very happy to have gotten admission into top university in the US but on the other hand I am sad that I am living the people, who helped me become who I am today, behind. Not that this is the first time I will be away from home, but still this time is different from what it was 5 years ago in a good and a bad way.

Then, I was just a 17 year old kid who didn’t know whatever hell the world has in store for him- not that now I know everything but I am prepared for whatever comes before me. Then, I was just a kid in a candy store with eyes wide open and a desire to have everything that is there to take but now I know my limits and I know how hard I have to work to get even what I deserve. 5 years ago, I was an adamant teenager who wanted his freedom and was overconfident that he could survive in this mean world on his own and who didn’t even turn around to see that his mother’s eyes were filled with tears and fear whether her only child and piece of her heart will be able to sustain the harsh world. Now my mother is a bit relieved coz of the fact that I survived away from her for 4 years but now a different kinda thought is troubling her A thought that I may not come back and even if I do I will be a changed man. Now I realize that no freedom and independence is good if it hurts the ones close to u. I wanna let my mother know that I WILL come back to her.

I remember the first day when I had to eat at hostel mess and the food was….. and I never wished to be home more than I wished then. but slowly as time passed I got used to that. Now having seen the worst there could be on your plate I am prepared for anything.

I can’t forget the day when I felt homesick for the first time. It wasn’t immediately after moving to hostel but it was about a month later and I felt so vulnerable. Now even though I won’t be homesick but I will certainly miss my home more than ever.

I remember the stupid kid who boarded wrong train and cried his eyes out when realized his mistake. How silly I was then. I was so shy then that I dint even want to share hostel room with other guys coz I wondered whether I will adjust with them but eventually they became my friends for life. Now, I can’t even think of living alone. What will I do if I don’t have anyone to talk to, to spend time with, to fight with. Can’t even imagine being alone.

Can’t count the money I wasted only because I couldn’t bargain with the autowala or shopkeeper. Didn’t realize when people are taking advantage of my innocence and when they r being really nice to me. Now when I look back, I don’t regret those moments coz those were the moments that taught me how the world is and how one should be to live in today’s world.

Now, as I look back at those embarrassing, funny weird moments in my life, a sense of crazy satisfaction creeps up my mind. Yes, satisfaction that I have experienced all those moments already and have learnt from all that.

Today, I am taking all that experience with me to other country. I am sure that experience and the love of my parents will never let me forget who I was and who I am and will help me become a better person.